Co-workers grand daughters funeral?

A friend/co-worker who I've know for the past 7 years 3 year old Grand Daughter was killed this last week. I know her daughter in ping, and not really close, but feel this is a time for family. Her death came unexpectedly. Part of me says I should go to be there for my friend, but the other part is just torn. I have 2 grand children a neice and nephew around that same age and think it's just an intimate private time and would not expect my friends to be there, but would rather have time to morn and be close to family. I rips my heart out to think about this happening to my little ones. I also think it's a time for my friend to be there for her daughter and family. She has asked me to come, but I get physically ill thinking about having to see this tiny child be put into the ground. I know she is in a better place now and it's a sign of respect to go. I just can't and not sure how to explain it to her. What do you suggest? I'm really torn.